








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1225 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1229 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1119 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,840 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamshed | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | Mello Shelby Sigma - ✪ M - <3 | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Menyerang Goslings | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Ghostless | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Menyerang Goslings | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Ghostless | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | Macheek | 49% | 82 |
| #7 | 8ulla | 37% | 38 |
| #8 | TheBubonicChef | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Macheek | 37 | 0.0245 |
| #2 | TheBubonicChef | 21 | 0.0300 |
| #3 | 8ulla | 13 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | Menyerang Goslings | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Macheek | 213 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | TheBubonicChef | 165 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ghostless | 165 | 0.40 | 5 min |
| #4 | Menyerang Goslings | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | 8ulla | 61 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | +4.07 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | ₥₳₦1₭ | +3.46 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | Macheek | +1.04 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Jamshed | -0.27 | 60 | 25 |
| #5 | Menyerang Goslings | -0.53 | 70 | 63 |





