








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1804 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5079 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2287 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3379 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,963,535 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 58% | 133 |
| #2 | bubagumpy | 57% | 105 |
| #3 | zenith | 54% | 74 |
| #4 | kil0 | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 58% | 133 |
| #2 | bubagumpy | 57% | 105 |
| #3 | zenith | 54% | 74 |
| #4 | kil0 | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubagumpy | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | kil0 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | zenith | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 348 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | bubagumpy | 226 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | zenith | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | kil0 | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | munto | +3.22 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | kil0 | +0.66 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | -0.51 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | bubagumpy | -0.51 | 77 | 46 |
| #5 | zenith | -1.53 | 68 | 59 |





