








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1687 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2182 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1661 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2667 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $965,776 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pwobby | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 57% | 164 |
| #3 | bubagumpy | 56% | 177 |
| #4 | munto | 54% | 74 |
| #5 | kil0 | 51% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 373 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | bubagumpy | 366 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | kil0 | 197 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | munto | 134 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | take me | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |





