








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2050 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1358 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 529 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1126 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,640 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsugua | 55% | 73 |
| #2 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 50% | 145 |
| #3 | koiboy | 49% | 96 |
| #4 | N0SHA | 49% | 111 |
| #5 | Miyagi | 48% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyagi | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | N0SHA | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Honda Suburoo Prius | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | koiboy | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyagi | 631 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 630 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #3 | koiboy | 560 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #4 | tsugua | 432 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #5 | Honda Suburoo Prius | 360 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoopyPoopPoopless | +3.26 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | tsugua | +1.32 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | Honda Suburoo Prius | +0.34 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Miyagi | -0.03 | 86 | 64 |
| #5 | koiboy | -0.63 | 55 | 67 |





