








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3305 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2836 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 780 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2292 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,057 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kinstrebla | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Honda Suburoo Prius | 49% | 132 |
| #3 | YoBoiKuzzi | 48% | 116 |
| #4 | koiboy | 48% | 105 |
| #5 | N0SHA | 47% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | YoBoiKuzzi | 48% | 116 |
| #4 | koiboy | 48% | 105 |
| #5 | N0SHA | 47% | 117 |
| #6 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 47% | 173 |
| #7 | tsugua | 46% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoBoiKuzzi | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Honda Suburoo Prius | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | N0SHA | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | koiboy | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | kinstrebla | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoopyPoopPoopless | 749 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | koiboy | 652 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #3 | tsugua | 511 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #4 | Honda Suburoo Prius | 482 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | YoBoiKuzzi | 458 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoopyPoopPoopless | +2.49 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | tsugua | +0.47 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Honda Suburoo Prius | +0.43 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | Miyagi | +0.20 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | kinstrebla | -0.27 | 41 | 43 |





