








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 672 | 19% |
| Smokes | 866 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 969 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,293 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ❤ s0nn1 | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Hanzk1 | 49% | 61 |
| #7 | Pietsukka | 44% | 82 |
| #8 | Steffe | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | juwwk | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanzk1 | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Pietsukka | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | prefire Jerry | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | maikha | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | not Rami | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pietsukka | 219 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | maikha | 180 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | prefire Jerry | 105 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hanzk1 | 95 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | not Rami | 49 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not Rami | +4.63 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | juwwk | +2.78 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | prefire Jerry | +2.40 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | eml | +0.94 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | Hanzk1 | +0.83 | 65 | 56 |





