








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4969 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3294 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2763 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2100 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,960 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eml | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Hanzk1 | 58% | 73 |
| #3 | maikha | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | Pietsukka | 48% | 162 |
| #5 | not Rami | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | maikha | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | Pietsukka | 48% | 162 |
| #5 | not Rami | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | mrb0ss | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Steffe | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pietsukka | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Hanzk1 | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | eml | 3 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | maikha | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | not Rami | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pietsukka | 498 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Hanzk1 | 134 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | maikha | 109 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | not Rami | 69 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | eml | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not Rami | +3.30 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | eml | +2.31 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | mrb0ss | +1.96 | 48 | 52 |
| #4 | Hanzk1 | +1.22 | 62 | 64 |
| #5 | prefire Jerry | +1.12 | 66 | 66 |





