








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1185 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1072 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 779 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 940 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,367 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppa | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | j o n z | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | ★Zanny | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | 0pa58 | 63% | 59 |
| #5 | ✪ Kala | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | j o n z | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | ★Zanny | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | 0pa58 | 63% | 59 |
| #5 | ✪ Kala | 61% | 18 |
| #6 | ZooM | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j o n z | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0pa58 | 198 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ★Zanny | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ Kala | 94 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | j o n z | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tomppa | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Zanny | +3.23 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Tomppa | +1.63 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | ✪ Kala | +1.53 | 92 | 75 |
| #4 | Apa_88 | +1.35 | 65 | 74 |
| #5 | ZooM | +1.10 | 93 | 62 |





