








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1188 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 882 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,606 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JETT MAIN(VAL>CS) | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Speedfreak15558 | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | 3peat | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Cev-Men | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | 7 | 0.0228 |
| #2 | Linteacher | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | 3peat | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | JETT MAIN(VAL>CS) | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Speedfreak15558 | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JETT MAIN(VAL>CS) | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | 3peat | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Speedfreak15558 | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Linteacher | 22 | 0.05 | 1 min |





