








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 859 | 33% |
| Smokes | 392 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 869 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 476 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,487 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | 53% | 59 |
| #8 | CYKO | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | Cev-Men | 40% | 35 |
| #10 | JiggleEnjoyer69 | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | MaidEnjoyer69 | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | 14 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | CYKO | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | FluffEnjoyer69 | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | MaidEnjoyer69 | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | JiggleEnjoyer69 | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | 209 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | CYKO | 144 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Eleven | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | FluffEnjoyer69 | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Speedfreak15558 | 48 | 0.17 | 1 min |





