








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1056 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1349 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2195 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 893 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $896,955 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeddayyLmao | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | Nastii | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Ginger in denial | 45% | 64 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/naassttii | 44% | 165 |
| #5 | ✪ ︻デ 一 Fixen | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ ︻デ 一 Fixen | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | yasmine | 39% | 33 |
| #7 | Carlito2602 | 37% | 83 |
| #8 | Daddy Dunc Spunks In Your Trunk | 36% | 28 |
| #9 | xSeeLen | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xSeeLen | 11 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Carlito2602 | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/naassttii | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Nastii | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Ginger in denial | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/naassttii | 389 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ginger in denial | 211 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Carlito2602 | 147 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | xSeeLen | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nastii | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeddayyLmao | +4.68 | 51 | 56 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/naassttii | +3.68 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | Nastii | +3.29 | 53 | 54 |
| #4 | Ginger in denial | +3.11 | 44 | 58 |
| #5 | xSeeLen | +2.39 | 35 | 56 |





