








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1988 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1777 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2331 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 938 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,560,601 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | 54% | 160 |
| #2 | Weezy_Cheezy | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | CryptIke | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Tyy | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | Shitman5117 | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Allen | 43% | 60 |
| #9 | cmon cuh | 42% | 108 |
| #10 | Pizzaboy | 36% | 55 |
| #11 | Tanester | 36% | 45 |
| #12 | Massive Wiener | 34% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robert Shmurda III | 28 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Al Gorro | 23 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | cmon cuh | 18 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Pizzaboy | 11 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Massive Wiener | 9 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | 437 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | cmon cuh | 299 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Robert Shmurda III | 152 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Massive Wiener | 143 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Allen | 140 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weezy_Cheezy | +3.15 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Tyy | +2.36 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | +2.28 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | cmon cuh | +1.87 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Robert Shmurda III | +1.09 | 75 | 47 |





