








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4059 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4423 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1807 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3380 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,222 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CryptIke | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | Weezy_Cheezy | 49% | 156 |
| #9 | Tyy | 49% | 115 |
| #10 | Pizzaboy | 40% | 35 |
| #11 | Massive Wiener | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robert Shmurda III | 29 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Al Gorro | 16 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | cmon cuh | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | trinidart01 | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Pizzaboy | 6 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmon cuh | 577 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Weezy_Cheezy | 330 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Allen | 302 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | trinidart01 | 275 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Robert Shmurda III | 172 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmon cuh | +1.59 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Weezy_Cheezy | +1.31 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | +1.13 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | Tyy | +0.91 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | Robert Shmurda III | -0.52 | 75 | 54 |





