








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1550 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2203 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1893 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1962 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,360 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | 51% | 98 |
| #2 | Tyy | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Robert Shmurda III | 48% | 141 |
| #4 | Weezy_Cheezy | 47% | 64 |
| #5 | Shitman5117 | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | trinidart01 | 45% | 85 |
| #8 | Pizzaboy | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | Allen | 41% | 88 |
| #10 | Massive Wiener | 35% | 26 |
| #11 | CryptIke | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robert Shmurda III | 68 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | cmon cuh | 37 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Allen | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | trinidart01 | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Weezy_Cheezy | 7 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmon cuh | 481 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Allen | 242 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | 222 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Robert Shmurda III | 201 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | trinidart01 | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmon cuh | +1.84 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | Weezy_Cheezy | +1.56 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | I Play Counter Strike, I Suppose | +1.02 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | Tyy | +0.47 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Robert Shmurda III | -0.58 | 75 | 53 |





