








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 450 | 22% |
| Smokes | 477 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 512 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 564 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,086 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Velos | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | OrangeTH | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | jognathain | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Lord Scotty | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | snoop | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | SOLO | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Stones (The Farmer) | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | beefybaconator | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | heavenly | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beefybaconator | 188 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | SOLO | 180 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | snoop | 178 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lord Scotty | 99 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stones (The Farmer) | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +3.57 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | Lord Scotty | +2.31 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | OrangeTH | +2.15 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | beefybaconator | +0.34 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | jognathain | +0.04 | 83 | 44 |





