










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2457 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2389 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1550 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1154 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,145 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fella | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Sam | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | - tated | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Teddy | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | toad | 43% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | toad | 43% | 97 |
| #6 | Joshua ッ | 42% | 156 |
| #7 | fy` | 40% | 70 |
| #8 | Bobby | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | weetard wangler | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fy` | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Joshua ッ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | toad | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Teddy | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | fella | 2 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toad | 389 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | fy` | 277 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Joshua ッ | 187 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Teddy | 116 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | fella | 77 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetard wangler | +3.72 | 95 | 36 |
| #2 | fella | +1.97 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | Joshua ッ | +1.86 | 86 | 46 |
| #4 | Sam | +1.54 | 71 | 16 |
| #5 | fy` | +0.70 | 73 | 67 |





