










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 150 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1053 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2207 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1921 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1366 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,610,982 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Teddy | 53% | 88 |
| #3 | Bobby | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | toad | 47% | 190 |
| #5 | Drilla | 42% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bobby | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | toad | 47% | 190 |
| #5 | Drilla | 42% | 156 |
| #6 | - tated | 41% | 22 |
| #7 | fy` | 16% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toad | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Drilla | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Teddy | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sam | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | fy` | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toad | 796 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Drilla | 569 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Teddy | 243 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | fy` | 87 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | - tated | 57 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshua ッ | +1.95 | 85 | 47 |
| #2 | fy` | +0.83 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | Sam | +0.41 | 71 | 21 |
| #4 | toad | +0.18 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | Teddy | -0.87 | 65 | 44 |





