








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1432 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1609 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1527 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,877 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 675 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holger danske | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | ron1 | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | ryad | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | 159cm 50kg 9cm | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | cain | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | konpazinho | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | J8S | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Kichin Bowl | 50% | 44 |
| #10 | Dylan | 47% | 45 |
| #11 | Schrödinger's Bullet | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ron1 | 4 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | 159cm 50kg 9cm | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Lagatenka | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | cain | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Kichin Bowl | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kichin Bowl | 230 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dylan | 199 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Schrödinger's Bullet | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | 159cm 50kg 9cm | 83 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | J8S | 67 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kichin Bowl | +2.36 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | ron1 | +1.84 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | cain | +0.92 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | Lagatenka | +0.61 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | Dylan | +0.58 | 73 | 69 |





