








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3893 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3671 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2693 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2914 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,010 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerrumm | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | J8S | 61% | 88 |
| #3 | Bet | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | 159cm 50kg 9cm | 59% | 133 |
| #5 | bambam | 58% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dylan | 57% | 120 |
| #8 | cain | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | zeti | 50% | 44 |
| #10 | Andy | 42% | 31 |
| #11 | MmmMushrooms | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 159cm 50kg 9cm | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | bambam | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Schrödinger's Bullet | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | zeti | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | J8S | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylan | 481 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | 159cm 50kg 9cm | 438 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | J8S | 422 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | bambam | 403 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Schrödinger's Bullet | 275 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kichin Bowl | +3.09 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | Kerrumm | +0.81 | 63 | 74 |
| #3 | 159cm 50kg 9cm | +0.59 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | cain | +0.30 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | Dylan | +0.09 | 73 | 71 |





