








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 596 | 24% |
| Smokes | 586 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,696 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edizzy | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | HeresyEye | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | iFoundYourAss | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | j | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | spookfinder | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ch1qu1 | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | Ghezzi | 54% | 46 |
| #8 | You Know Who | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | water | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | Tyrone | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghezzi | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Ch1qu1 | 4 | 0.0176 |
| #3 | HeresyEye | 3 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | water | 3 | 0.0203 |
| #5 | Tyrone | 2 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghezzi | 204 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | You Know Who | 166 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #3 | Edizzy | 54 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | iFoundYourAss | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | water | 28 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | +4.45 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | spookfinder | +3.44 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | water | +2.65 | 71 | 38 |
| #4 | Edizzy | +2.41 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | HeresyEye | +1.49 | 43 | 46 |





