








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2841 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2599 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1730 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2572 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,887 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | water | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | j | 55% | 130 |
| #3 | Tyrone | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | HeresyEye | 49% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | water | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | j | 55% | 130 |
| #3 | Tyrone | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | HeresyEye | 49% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeresyEye | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | water | 14 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | j | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Tyrone | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | 302 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | water | 170 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | HeresyEye | 141 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tyrone | 118 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | +3.53 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | water | +2.88 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | Tyrone | +1.90 | 76 | 54 |
| #4 | Ch1qu1 | +1.15 | 50 | 65 |
| #5 | HeresyEye | -2.43 | 42 | 51 |





