








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 721 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10164 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10293 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7482 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7614 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,791,461 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallmore | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Pollo | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | k3vinz | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | iFoundYourAss | 49% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallmore | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Pollo | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | k3vinz | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | iFoundYourAss | 49% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iFoundYourAss | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | k3vinz | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Wallmore | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iFoundYourAss | 320 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | k3vinz | 219 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Wallmore | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pollo | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wallmore | +7.94 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | k3vinz | +4.32 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | iFoundYourAss | +0.34 | 55 | 46 |
| #4 | Ghezzi | -0.62 | 30 | 69 |
| #5 | Pollo | -1.10 | 48 | 49 |





