








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2233 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1512 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 735 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,771 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Ghezzi | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Edizzy | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Pollo | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Slax | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Ghezzi | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Edizzy | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Pollo | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Slax | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 4 | 0.0280 |
| #2 | Pollo | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ghezzi | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Slax | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edizzy | 82 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ghezzi | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pollo | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tyrone | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Slax | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | You Know Who | +2.51 | 58 | 72 |
| #2 | Edizzy | +1.82 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | Tyrone | -0.63 | 52 | 60 |
| #4 | Pollo | -0.93 | 53 | 54 |
| #5 | Ghezzi | -1.12 | 21 | 75 |





