








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




181 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7760 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6607 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4708 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3289 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,108,309 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4022 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | higgggggggggTYYYYYTY | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | cmrn | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | rino | 67% | 48 |
| #4 | Ben Dover | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | Yoshiify | 55% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | rino | 67% | 48 |
| #4 | Ben Dover | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | Yoshiify | 55% | 159 |
| #6 | alfiemead | 54% | 67 |
| #7 | Zack | 47% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zack | 19 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Yoshiify | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | rino | 12 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | alfiemead | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Ben Dover | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoshiify | 515 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Zack | 500 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | alfiemead | 347 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | rino | 183 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | cmrn | 164 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | higgggggggggTYYYYYTY | +2.55 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | rino | +2.26 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | +1.27 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | alfiemead | +0.97 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | cmrn | +0.71 | 86 | 55 |





