








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3198 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2068 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2748 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1649 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,663 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | higgggggggggTYYYYYTY | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | MaTriXx | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | alfiemead | 62% | 178 |
| #5 | TonyDHFC | 58% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TonyDHFC | 16 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | Rayless | 11 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | 7oMm1 | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | alfiemead | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Magick | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alfiemead | 705 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | 7oMm1 | 265 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Rayless | 234 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Magick | 226 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | 163 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | higgggggggggTYYYYYTY | +2.55 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | 7oMm1 | +1.65 | 91 | 56 |
| #3 | alfiemead | +1.12 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | cmrn | +1.11 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | +0.57 | 74 | 64 |





