








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 320 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2678 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2804 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2789 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2462 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,194 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | higgggggggggTYYYYYTY | 64% | 104 |
| #2 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | cmrn | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | alfiemead | 52% | 366 |
| #5 | Cal | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | cmrn | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | alfiemead | 52% | 366 |
| #5 | Cal | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | TheGingerNinja | 49% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alfiemead | 22 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | TheGingerNinja | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Cal | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alfiemead | 1823 | 0.23 | 46 min |
| #2 | higgggggggggTYYYYYTY | 357 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | cmrn | 261 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | 236 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | TheGingerNinja | 205 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | higgggggggggTYYYYYTY | +2.71 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | alfiemead | +1.56 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | cmrn | +0.42 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | Twitch.tv/Jackbagg | +0.09 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | Ben Dover | -0.01 | 71 | 55 |





