








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 942 | 25% |
| Smokes | 919 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 907 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,781 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | デf̷l̷a̷m̷e̷デ | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Leevi | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Alice:) | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Fumblaaja | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | Kissanpiiskaaja | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fumblaaja | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | Kissanpiiskaaja | 53% | 51 |
| #6 | jspr! | 52% | 60 |
| #7 | yngPasmo | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | ISMAIL ADIHEIL HUSIMAN | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jspr! | 14 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Kissanpiiskaaja | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | デf̷l̷a̷m̷e̷デ | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Leevi | 4 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | Fumblaaja | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jspr! | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kissanpiiskaaja | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Alice:) | 107 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fumblaaja | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Leevi | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leevi | +4.81 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | デf̷l̷a̷m̷e̷デ | +0.73 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | Kissanpiiskaaja | +0.43 | 61 | 46 |
| #4 | Piepa | +0.40 | 57 | 74 |
| #5 | Alice:) | +0.35 | 46 | 62 |





