








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 112 | 11% |
| Smokes | 330 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 350 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 244 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,674 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BONSMARA | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ✿Chiquita✿™ | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | REAPER | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Wil$kiet | 32% | 19 |
| #5 | RoloWake | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | RoloWake | 31% | 29 |
| #6 | Ray | 27% | 11 |
| #7 | Plodder | 25% | 8 |
| #8 | Smite | 18% | 11 |
| #9 | Oupa Cap | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoloWake | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Plodder | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoloWake | 156 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | Wil$kiet | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Smite | 19 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Plodder | 18 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✿Chiquita✿™ | 9 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BONSMARA | +9.29 | 51 | 19 |
| #2 | Wil$kiet | +2.06 | 48 | 51 |
| #3 | Ray | +0.94 | 49 | 53 |
| #4 | RoloWake | +0.69 | 35 | 57 |
| #5 | Plodder | +0.40 | 18 | 59 |





