








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1272 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1479 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1695 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1838 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,179 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PappaAppel | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Kassie | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | ƒLäþJàÇk | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Plodder | 44% | 170 |
| #5 | Smite | 42% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ƒLäþJàÇk | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Plodder | 44% | 170 |
| #5 | Smite | 42% | 193 |
| #6 | ☣Cyanide☣SoLλce ZA™ | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Blanche | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smite | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Plodder | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ƒLäþJàÇk | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smite | 253 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | Plodder | 240 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | ƒLäþJàÇk | 107 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kassie | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | PappaAppel | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kassie | +2.37 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Blanche | +0.30 | 55 | 40 |
| #3 | ƒLäþJàÇk | +0.25 | 22 | 67 |
| #4 | Plodder | +0.13 | 20 | 53 |
| #5 | Smite | +0.13 | 21 | 46 |





