








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 839 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1740 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1830 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2066 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,595 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoloWake | 44% | 135 |
| #2 | Plodder | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Ray | 41% | 39 |
| #4 | BONSMARA | 39% | 54 |
| #5 | Oupa Cap | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BONSMARA | 39% | 54 |
| #5 | Oupa Cap | 38% | 16 |
| #6 | PhatPanda | 38% | 56 |
| #7 | Smite | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Gran1te | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoloWake | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | BONSMARA | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Plodder | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | PhatPanda | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Ray | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoloWake | 667 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | PhatPanda | 84 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | BONSMARA | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Smite | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Oupa Cap | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wil$kiet | +1.73 | 53 | 57 |
| #2 | RoloWake | +1.47 | 36 | 56 |
| #3 | PhatPanda | -0.96 | 36 | 55 |
| #4 | Plodder | -1.48 | 13 | 55 |
| #5 | BONSMARA | -1.52 | 42 | 40 |





