








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5108 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2982 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3181 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 963 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,867 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plodder | 47% | 36 |
| #2 | Wil$kiet | 44% | 135 |
| #3 | BONSMARA | 44% | 137 |
| #4 | Smite | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | PhatPanda | 42% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Smite | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | PhatPanda | 42% | 86 |
| #6 | Ray | 42% | 79 |
| #7 | Oupa Cap | 33% | 27 |
| #8 | Gran1te | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BONSMARA | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Wil$kiet | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | PhatPanda | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Ray | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Plodder | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wil$kiet | 172 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | PhatPanda | 163 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | BONSMARA | 126 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Smite | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Plodder | 48 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoloWake | +1.26 | 36 | 57 |
| #2 | Wil$kiet | +1.11 | 46 | 55 |
| #3 | BONSMARA | +0.93 | 48 | 39 |
| #4 | PhatPanda | -0.34 | 38 | 53 |
| #5 | Plodder | -1.55 | 19 | 58 |





