








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 717 | 27% |
| Smokes | 631 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 784 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 500 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,290 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wasbi | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Silzu | 58% | 142 |
| #3 | Weso | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | vekomumpelo | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | Mehuankka | 53% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Weso | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | vekomumpelo | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | Mehuankka | 53% | 55 |
| #6 | Tuhma Tumpston | 53% | 57 |
| #7 | Broidis | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silzu | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Mehuankka | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Wasbi | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Broidis | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Weso | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silzu | 216 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | vekomumpelo | 106 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Weso | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tuhma Tumpston | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Broidis | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4lle1 | +5.50 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Weso | +1.07 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | Wasbi | +0.69 | 45 | 59 |
| #4 | Silzu | -0.96 | 30 | 63 |
| #5 | vekomumpelo | -2.01 | 44 | 53 |





