










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3945 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1586 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1689 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,692 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PumpkinNeon | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | Vortal | 50% | 32 |
| #7 | ginger strings mk3 | 48% | 48 |
| #8 | Tosha | 47% | 36 |
| #9 | 05enko | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOLFSEGGS | 20 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Pastrysal | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | ginger strings mk3 | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Nico | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Tosha | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOLFSEGGS | 365 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pastrysal | 277 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | ginger strings mk3 | 169 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | PumpkinNeon | 157 | 0.47 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tosha | 120 | 0.17 | 2 min |





