










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 127 matches | 2,226 | |
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 896 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1542 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1603 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $933,499 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 𝒜𝐿𝒳|鬱 | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | cat | 57% | 68 |
| #7 | RekYost | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | BbB | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | dyzt | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | softhe | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | 𝒜𝐿𝒳|鬱 | 2 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat | 407 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | BbB | 115 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | ogge | 59 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝒜𝐿𝒳|鬱 | 55 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | RekYost | 53 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hampzz | +2.75 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | slide | +2.63 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | ogge | +2.02 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | 𝒜𝐿𝒳|鬱 | +2.02 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | BbB | +1.77 | 90 | 63 |





