








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1067 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7377 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5807 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 672 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 4777 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,010,380 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arron Hernandez | 69% | 58 |
| #2 | crankin ma hog | 64% | 168 |
| #3 | GlobbCity | 60% | 760 |
| #4 | SUPERORGANISM | 59% | 184 |
| #5 | Sheriff Biren | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arron Hernandez | 69% | 58 |
| #2 | crankin ma hog | 64% | 168 |
| #3 | GlobbCity | 60% | 760 |
| #4 | SUPERORGANISM | 59% | 184 |
| #5 | Sheriff Biren | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlobbCity | 84 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | crankin ma hog | 22 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | SUPERORGANISM | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Sheriff Biren | 16 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Arron Hernandez | 6 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlobbCity | 2098 | 0.14 | 54 min |
| #2 | crankin ma hog | 835 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #3 | SUPERORGANISM | 667 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #4 | Sheriff Biren | 420 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #5 | Arron Hernandez | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crankin ma hog | +5.27 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | SUPERORGANISM | +4.87 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Mr.Wiggie | +1.90 | 86 | 54 |
| #4 | GlobbCity | -0.72 | 69 | 46 |
| #5 | Sheriff Biren | -1.73 | 52 | 65 |





