








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 12% |
| Smokes | 285 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 353 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $40,743 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Doodle) | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Ainsley | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Plinko Machine | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Ashh. | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | Bit | 44% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Plinko Machine | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Ashh. | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | Bit | 44% | 64 |
| #6 | Radical! | 40% | 35 |
| #7 | Jeesh_ai | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bit | 11 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Ainsley | 10 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Ashh. | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Jeesh_ai | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Plinko Machine | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ainsley | 177 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bit | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ashh. | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Radical! | 45 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Plinko Machine | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Doodle) | +4.67 | 44 | 64 |
| #2 | Bit | +4.52 | 51 | 41 |
| #3 | Ainsley | +4.26 | 17 | 52 |
| #4 | Plinko Machine | -1.71 | 7 | 43 |
| #5 | Ashh. | -2.68 | 6 | 24 |





