










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 371 | 18% |
| Smokes | 752 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 221 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 755 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,077 of utility $15 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥_Snapdragon_OG♥ | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | jerry | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | Mandingo | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | xrx: | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Proph3t | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xrx: | 16 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Kola | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Mandingo | 8 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | ♥_Snapdragon_OG♥ | 6 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | Proph3t | 5 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kola | 297 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | jerry | 171 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | xrx: | 127 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝔏𝔲𝔠𝔦𝔡 | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mandingo | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |





