








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 384 | 15% |
| Smokes | 818 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 680 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 709 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,545 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dimes | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | ocelØt | 48% | 50 |
| #3 | Draken | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | The American Nightmare | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | SCRLwheel | 45% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Draken | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | The American Nightmare | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | SCRLwheel | 45% | 170 |
| #6 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | 43% | 49 |
| #7 | Noname | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCRLwheel | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | dimes | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Draken | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ocelØt | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCRLwheel | 455 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | 162 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Draken | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ocelØt | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | dimes | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ocelØt | +2.64 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | SCRLwheel | +1.64 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | [KOA] Ooga Booga Man | +0.78 | 38 | 57 |
| #4 | Noname | -0.08 | 64 | 20 |
| #5 | dimes | -0.13 | 55 | 54 |





