








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 211 | 29% |
| Smokes | 179 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 205 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 135 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,770 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Phelps | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Sisäfile | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | SirErnamo | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | d◣_◢b | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Patexar | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MURSU | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Jonddde | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Reiska | 30% | 40 |
| #10 | 我很壞 P01KANU0R1 | 0% | 3 |
| #11 | senseivuu | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MURSU | 105 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Reiska | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | SirErnamo | 61 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jonddde | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | senseivuu | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Phelps | +6.45 | 95 | 69 |
| #2 | d◣_◢b | +4.38 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | SirErnamo | +4.01 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | MURSU | +3.72 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | Reiska | +1.78 | 77 | 53 |





