








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 541 | 27% |
| Smokes | 480 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 406 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,902 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andYw0w~ | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | laacfaze | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Devvv | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | booo0000 | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | F 1 R E | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Womble | 41% | 59 |
| #7 | Nigh_Flasher | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | || KENJA || | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | addd | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | v1k | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Womble | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | addd | 1 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | || KENJA || | 1 | 0.0417 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Womble | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | booo0000 | 27 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | F 1 R E | 23 | 1.00 | 0 min |
| #4 | || KENJA || | 17 | 0.71 | 0 min |
| #5 | addd | 16 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | booo0000 | +2.83 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | addd | +2.37 | 74 | 50 |
| #3 | F 1 R E | +2.35 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | Kōrinomizu | +1.74 | 82 | 39 |
| #5 | || KENJA || | +1.46 | 74 | 55 |





