








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2281 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1379 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1503 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1008 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,977 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheev | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | _Shark_ | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Tuippis | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | ruis antero | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _Shark_ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Intozzz | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Herra WO | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Tuippis | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herra WO | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | _Shark_ | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | ruis antero | 55 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Deathie | 50 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Intozzz | +2.81 | 59 | 70 |
| #2 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | +1.14 | 50 | 63 |
| #3 | TsingisVaan | +1.14 | 34 | 67 |
| #4 | palvaren | +0.76 | 53 | 50 |
| #5 | Deathie | +0.28 | 44 | 76 |





