








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 684 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 730 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,093 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valentiins | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | pepco juris | 53% | 59 |
| #3 | intelz | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | zuicis | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | ganjaman | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | intelz | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | zuicis | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | ganjaman | 46% | 37 |
| #6 | krotenieks88 | 40% | 48 |
| #7 | xZero | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intelz | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Valentiins | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | pepco juris | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | zuicis | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | xZero | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pepco juris | 178 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | intelz | 139 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Valentiins | 139 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ganjaman | 67 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | zuicis | 51 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ganjaman | +2.33 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | Monkqs | +1.60 | 59 | 50 |
| #3 | Valentiins | +0.96 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | xZero | -1.05 | 55 | 55 |
| #5 | intelz | -1.18 | 47 | 49 |





