








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 106 | 4% |
| Smokes | 724 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 679 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 902 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,401 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valentiins | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | pepco juris | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | ganjaman | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | intelz | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | zuicis | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ganjaman | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | intelz | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | zuicis | 43% | 46 |
| #6 | Monkqs | 40% | 48 |
| #7 | xZero | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valentiins | 10 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | intelz | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | zuicis | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | pepco juris | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Monkqs | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pepco juris | 179 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Valentiins | 110 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | intelz | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | zuicis | 51 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ganjaman | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ganjaman | +2.68 | 63 | 69 |
| #2 | Monkqs | +2.42 | 55 | 55 |
| #3 | Valentiins | +1.68 | 71 | 43 |
| #4 | intelz | +0.63 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | krotenieks88 | -0.58 | 61 | 33 |





