








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1040 | 60% |
| Smokes | 335 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 76 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 271 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,995 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benpai | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Naughtish | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | ThatPattyGuy | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Rattel | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rattel | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Steep | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | xillix | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | Frog | 44% | 48 |
| #9 | Ceebs | 43% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatPattyGuy | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Ceebs | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Frog | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Steep | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 170 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ceebs | 155 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Steep | 131 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ThatPattyGuy | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | xillix | 30 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benpai | +3.77 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | SHAFT DOCTOR | +3.05 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | Steep | +2.62 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Ceebs | +2.09 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | Naughtish | +1.08 | 43 | 38 |





