








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3200 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3842 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3236 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2893 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,397,875 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ SteeLe. | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Hippie Langstrumpf | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | ENTE AUF STOFF | 52% | 242 |
| #4 | DontDoDrugsKids | 51% | 134 |
| #5 | micha` | 50% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | micha` | 50% | 135 |
| #6 | onlinerage | 50% | 254 |
| #7 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 47% | 92 |
| #8 | Butter auf Aimpresso® | 46% | 50 |
| #9 | MVXD | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENTE AUF STOFF | 24 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | onlinerage | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | micha` | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Butter auf Aimpresso® | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENTE AUF STOFF | 816 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | onlinerage | 485 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | DontDoDrugsKids | 470 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | micha` | 404 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 105 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENTE AUF STOFF | +2.11 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | micha` | +1.74 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | onlinerage | -0.34 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | MalWiederAufStoff | -0.38 | 70 | 64 |
| #5 | DontDoDrugsKids | -0.47 | 76 | 62 |





