








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 314 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4429 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7343 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5310 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5024 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,239,229 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nastY ♥ | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | ☭ SteeLe. | 56% | 64 |
| #3 | ENTE AUF STOFF | 51% | 385 |
| #4 | micha` | 51% | 350 |
| #5 | DontDoDrugsKids | 50% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MalWiederAufStoff | 50% | 254 |
| #7 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 49% | 224 |
| #8 | Butter auf Aimpresso® | 47% | 162 |
| #9 | TekPlays! | 46% | 35 |
| #10 | Hippie Langstrumpf | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENTE AUF STOFF | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | MalWiederAufStoff | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Butter auf Aimpresso® | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | micha` | 10 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENTE AUF STOFF | 1317 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | micha` | 996 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #3 | MalWiederAufStoff | 579 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | DontDoDrugsKids | 469 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | Butter auf Aimpresso® | 238 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nastY ♥ | +2.03 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | micha` | +1.82 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | ENTE AUF STOFF | +1.74 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | DontDoDrugsKids | +0.54 | 73 | 60 |
| #5 | onlinerage | -0.25 | 55 | 64 |





