








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 255 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 170 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5550 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5579 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4880 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4506 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,399,234 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nastY ♥ | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | ☭ SteeLe. | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | MalWiederAufStoff | 52% | 242 |
| #4 | onlinerage | 51% | 385 |
| #5 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 50% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 50% | 115 |
| #6 | micha` | 49% | 292 |
| #7 | DontDoDrugsKids | 49% | 132 |
| #8 | Butter auf Aimpresso® | 49% | 76 |
| #9 | Hippie Langstrumpf | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onlinerage | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | MalWiederAufStoff | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | micha` | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Butter auf Aimpresso® | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | micha` | 836 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | onlinerage | 649 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | MalWiederAufStoff | 535 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | DontDoDrugsKids | 429 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | 96in3 | Narkolepsie | 112 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENTE AUF STOFF | +1.71 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | nastY ♥ | +1.55 | 74 | 75 |
| #3 | micha` | +1.55 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | DontDoDrugsKids | -0.08 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | onlinerage | -0.46 | 54 | 64 |





