








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 989 | 21% |
| Smokes | 939 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1436 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1368 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,779 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑩𝑶𝑳𝑳𝒀² | 63% | 54 |
| #2 | junior | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | smel :-: | 61% | 67 |
| #4 | rey, | 59% | 145 |
| #5 | 🎀𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶 | 57% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🎀𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶 | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Jivels | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | smel :-: | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 𝑩𝑶𝑳𝑳𝒀² | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Meowny | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rey, | 303 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jivels | 275 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | 🎀𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶 | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | 𝑩𝑶𝑳𝑳𝒀² | 187 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | smel :-: | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | +2.81 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | 🎀𝒱𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒶 | +2.09 | 71 | 47 |
| #3 | smel :-: | +1.86 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | rey, | +1.41 | 51 | 74 |
| #5 | 𝑩𝑶𝑳𝑳𝒀² | +0.82 | 65 | 65 |





