








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1886 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1284 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1797 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1277 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,308 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ππ±πΆππΎπππΆ | 58% | 130 |
| #7 | Jivels | 58% | 111 |
| #8 | Meowny | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | Kordless | 53% | 15 |
| #10 | MUTIRIS | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlomo Shekelstein Goylerberg | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | ππ±πΆππΎπππΆ | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Jivels | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | smel :-: | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | σ ³β§π©πΆπ³π³πΒ² | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jivels | 296 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | ππ±πΆππΎπππΆ | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | σ ³β§π©πΆπ³π³πΒ² | 213 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Schlomo Shekelstein Goylerberg | 204 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | smel :-: | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | +2.50 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | ππ±πΆππΎπππΆ | +2.38 | 69 | 49 |
| #3 | smel :-: | +1.56 | 47 | 62 |
| #4 | rey, | +1.54 | 52 | 73 |
| #5 | σ ³β§π©πΆπ³π³πΒ² | +0.85 | 62 | 63 |





