








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 920 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1415 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 910 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,213 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shockwve | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | lolzman1984 | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | donkfingus | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | cayk | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | uviete | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shockwve | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | lolzman1984 | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | donkfingus | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | cayk | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | uviete | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donkfingus | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | cayk | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | lolzman1984 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | uviete | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolzman1984 | 207 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | uviete | 146 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #3 | donkfingus | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shockwve | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | cayk | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolzman1984 | +1.59 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | donkfingus | +1.37 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Appollo | +1.12 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Shockwve | +1.01 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | uviete | -0.69 | 83 | 62 |





